Muslim Eve\’s Ramblings

August 26, 2006

Four Wives…..

Filed under: In The Spot — Me2 @ 5:54 pm

Well, Well, Well…

This’s one of the topics that I didn’t want to talk about, because I don’t have all the Tools that’ll help me to clear the misunderstanding about it, but anyway I’ll try to do my best.
While surfing, “I found comments about the four wives in Islam” issue, most those comments are offensive, even if someone is asking about it usually it looks like an insult!!

In Yahoo Answers:

Q. Why did Michael Jackson convert to Islam?

A. He wants to have lot of chil… i mean wife to sleep with!!!1

Interesting answer of an Ignorant…

I’m a woman & I can talk about the “four wives issue”
so please muslim brothers & sister correct me if I’m wrong
Every woman needs her man for herself but she forgets something very important….
Men think about sexual desire more than women, usually when a man not satisfied with his wife , he searches for a solution, most men in the west cheating on their wives.
So, here’s one of the reasons that Islam gave the right for ment to marry nother, instead of cheating in (one-wife religions).

A man that loves his wife & there’s uncurable physical problems with her prevents her from having babies…
In the western world they adopt children & change their names, in Islam it’s a very good thing to take care of an orphan child but they can’t give him/her their names, cuz it’s the kid’s right to keep his parent’s name, so in this case the man may need to marry another & keep his wife, cuz it’s really offensive to devorce her just because she can’t be a mother, as it’s all God’s willing.

A man who’s not comfortable with his wife, they’re fighting all the time, but he got children from her….
In this case it’s better for their children to stay together, but the man can marry another, while in western world they get devorced & maybe prevets the other side from seeing childre, which cause serious problems with children later, usually muslim women don’t think that much about getting married again so it’s ok with her.

In fact those were only three reasons, but I’m sure there’s much more, for example, women count is increasing comparing to men’s count, that means women won’t find enough men to get married to & Islam doesn’t incourage sex outside marriage ( all religions doesn’t incourage that too ), so here’s a solution & that solution is made by God.

Some are asking, why women don’t have that right too…

I’ll answer that with two answers:
1st: A reason related to (Ikhtelat Elansab), well I don’t know the right translation for it, if someone knows please add it in a reply, but it means in a childish way: so she won’t get mixed & never knows the real father..

2nd: The nature of women, as they like to stay with one women only, so it’s not a sexual desire for her.

Well I have to talk about the most important notes about this issue:
It’s about treating every woman equaly, a man who marry more than a woman must treat them equaly, this’s a condition mentioned in the holy Quraan

Allah said:
“And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards
orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and
three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice
(between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands
possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the
right course.” An-nisa (women) Surah, Ayah 004.003

& it was mentioned that a man won’t be able to do that, so it’s almost not possible to do that, cuz the man must treat them both the same, spend the same money on them & buy them the same kind of stuff & make them live in an equal homes & in everything he must be fair with them, as I said it’s almost impossible.
So that explains that most the men who’re married to more than a woman without being equal to them are doing a sin cuz they disobey Allah.

The other point is the man must ask the first wife, if she agrees about his marriage & give her the choice to go on with him & accept the other wife or if she wants devorce she has the right to get it, that means that any man can’t keep her without her by force & the ones who do that are sinners too.

The Ayah I mentioned above was from An-nisa (women) Surah, as you can see it’s a surah specially talking about women but there’s no surah for men, in this surah was mentioned the rights for women & how to deal with them fairly, so no one can take their rights from them.

The whole issue in here shows that Islam never been unfair & the four wives issue is so limited by rules which make it almost impossible to be done, it’s a point of view of a moderate muslim woman as much as she understands her religion.
I can add too that some women prefere to go & engage another to her husband by her choice & some prefere to be the second wife.
Women won’t accept cheating from their husbands & they rather to know with whome he’s so they accept his marriage, some accept his marriage & then feel jailous so they make problems & claim lies about their husbands.
most women are liars, they use lie to help the benifits they target to.

For anyone who’s interested to read
Here’s a link to a translation for the Holy Qur’an.

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10 Comments »

  1. Salaams

    True Islam has never been unfair but some people take advantage of the right to have polygamous marriage and twist it to their own advantage.

    Comment by Em — August 27, 2006 @ 5:05 am

  2. Salam sister
    That’s true Em, a lot of muslims use the license Allah gave to them & misuse it, then others make them their example about muslims who’re mistreating women
    while the truth is something else

    Comment by Me2 — August 27, 2006 @ 11:14 am

  3. Assalam-alia-kum,

    Was surfing the net and came across this lovely article its good to know such discussions are still happening …all said and thot is absolutely correct but frnds one thing i wud like to add is that ..the biggest reason that islam does not allow a woman to marry more than one husband at same is bcoz if she has more than one husband how is she going to know who’s child is she bearing…if u think logically islam always supports and endorses justice according our religion she has to give same the amount of time to alll her husbands ..and inorder to avoid the confusion and to avoid fights between husbandsn as to whom the child belongs to this issue was taken into consideration…..
    Hope u got my point…

    Comment by ramsha — August 27, 2006 @ 4:24 pm

  4. Wa Alikum Assalam sister

    if u think logically islam always supports and endorses justice according our religion she has to give same the amount of time to alll her husbands ..and inorder to avoid the confusion and to avoid fights between husbandsn as to whom the child belongs to this issue was taken into consideration…..

    Thanks for adding this, in such an issue missed points are always welcome cuz we must clear some points witch confuse non-muslims, that maybe help to make them understand us & treat us as human beings just with a different way to live & believe

    Comment by Me2 — August 27, 2006 @ 4:35 pm

  5. Its interesting. Many of this that I never dont know about it.

    I only know that Men allow to get married 4 times but must give all 4 wives equal rights to them and children.
    For women, they can get married if they want but many dont .

    Thank you for explain clear about this issue.

    Comment by Naheeda — August 28, 2006 @ 1:16 am

  6. Welcome Sister Naheeda 🙂
    Alhamdulellah I’m happy to know that you found some benifit from this post, I wish they’ll be from my Hasanat

    Comment by Me2 — August 28, 2006 @ 2:46 pm

  7. Salam Sis. Kaifa haluki? 🙂
    Interesting read!!! Thanks for giving me a link to your blog..will keep myself posted with your entries!

    Comment by rozas — August 29, 2006 @ 5:04 am

  8. Alikum Elsalam sister Rozas
    You’re welcome anytime 🙂 thank you

    Comment by Me2 — August 29, 2006 @ 1:25 pm

  9. i have a boyfriend for more than 1 year, he went to his place of origin for four weeks and few days after he came back he told me that that he got married, i was shock and angry. He said that he loves me and he wants to marry as well ( the woman he married has no idea that he wants to marry me too, he intend to tell her after she’s here (where he lives). Is this how muslim men treats muslim women? Where’s the respect? It was mention that a man must ask his wife first is she agrees. he said , he don’t need to ask his wife’s permission if he wants to marry another one.

    Comment by asma — September 15, 2006 @ 10:07 pm

  10. Welcome Asma
    I must clear that what you that what’s that man is doing in here got nothing to do with Islam,, I have to tell you too that there’s nothing called boyfriend in Islam,, any man will do the same as many men are selfish, the good news in here that he’s a muslim & can marry you
    BUT
    It’s his wife’s right to know,, she can’t prevent his marriage but she has the right to accept living with him or get devorced
    Many of muslims nowadays don’t do the right thing,, as all human beings (from any relegion),, this’s because of the media & technology negative effect,, so most muslims don’t know much about their own relegion & when they want advice usually they get it from the wrong ones
    in fact Islam got nothing to do with such actions & people are far from the right bath & that what gave the wrong idea about Islam & muslims
    maybe that guy in his home land been told that he doesn’t have to tell his wife,,, but everything must be clear
    So U guess this’s the wrong one for you,,, you need someone you trust dear,, because he may do the same to you too,,, hiding facts is just a hidden lie, I’m sorry that he’s a muslim,, that’s a big shame

    Comment by Me2 — September 16, 2006 @ 12:57 am


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